It’s New Year’s Eve, but nothing’s exciting.
I try so hard to just keep on fighting.
This hospital is like being trapped in a jail cell.
Just wishing and waiting that I will get well.
I think of last year, a New Year’s with fun,
But that’s not this year: my time is now done.
I feel like I’m on a roller coaster tonight.
One big, long ride, I’m just holding on tight.
What might happen in two thousand seven?
Is God choosing me to join him in heaven?
Why is it that it is my turn to die?
Is living worth all the pain and tears that I cry?
As my life seems to slip at a fast rate,
Maybe I now have to face my true fate.
Deep inside I feel a stabbing in my heart.
What about my friends? We can’t live apart.
At least I have my family here to care,
But something’s not right; it just isn’t fair.
I see their faces with looks of disbelief.
They can’t see me go, they can’t live in grief.
I’m stuck in a never-ending horror show.
I want to get out of here. I just want to go.
I look at my mom, a face streaming with tears.
"I’ll always love you, there’s no need to fear."
My dad looks at me with a saddened face,
A look of pride, and a look of disgrace.
I can’t bear to see the pain in their eyes.
I refuse to leave, I won’t say goodbye.
The T.V. is on, Dick Clark in Times Square,
And everyone seems so happy out there.
"Remember this new year in honor of me,
the days that were real, the ones I was free."
The countdown goes on, eight, seven, six, five.
I feel it now, it’s harder to survive.
I take one last breath, and I close my eyes.
My body’s gone, but my spirit never dies.