Procrastinator ManA small town in New York houses a man known near and far.
Some say that he’s a freak, a nerd, or a little bizarre.
His real name is unheard of, t’was lost to his distant clan,
But to America he is Procrastinator Man.
His powers are distinct and fierce, but he won’t fight much crime;
He has the ability to waste indefinite spans of time.
“How is Procrastination Man not just a lazy slob?”
You fool! I never told you that he didn’t do his job!
He saves the day at the last minute, rushed, but lightning fast.
This man could get away with doing things only half-assed.
When a girl is sinking into quicksand, she won’t die;
Procrastinator Man will save her life (after some pie).
If some bad guys have robbed a bank and can avoid the cops,
He will stop them in their tracks, once his favorite show stops.
Giant penguins, maniacs, and land-sharks?! They’re no threat!
The king of the eventual just hasn’t fought them yet.
[TABLE OF CONTENTS, LHS CLASS OF 2009 EDITION]
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2002-2007 by individual authors. Reprinted with permission. SPP developed and designed by Strong Bat Productions.