Amanda R.

Who's Got It Worse?

Pulling up to my favorite place, I step out of my truck and into the bar.  The music blares loudly and laughter fills the air.  Rowdy men bellow for “another round” as their glasses clink together.  Scanning the room, I notice one lonely looking man sitting all by himself, just staring at his drink.  His hair was a mess and his clothes were wrinkled.  Figuring he could use a little company, I go over to him and say hello.  When he says nothing, I decide to engage him in a conversation.  I start by asking him about his day.

“So you look a little down.  Anything you need to talk out?”

The man grew shaky.  I heard him mutter, “This has been the worst day of my life.”

“Tell me about it!” I chime in.

“Listen, nothing could beat my day.  It was just awful.  See, I’m a trucker; I drive around for a living.  You know, transport things here and there.  So this morning I get into my car and I am driving along when I see a police car behind me, pulling me over.  So of course I pull over and step out of my truck.  The policeman tells me that my license plate is close to falling off and that I need to fix it.  He asks for my license so I reach for my pocket.  Just then I realized I left my wallet at the motel I stayed at the night before!  He decided to take me to jail because he didn’t believe my motel story.  When I got my ‘one call’ I decide to call my ex-wife.  When I call her she just laughs at me and reminds me of the court date to settle the custody of our children.  I sat in that jail all day because of her!”

After my story, I grew quite thirsty.  Noticing that the man I was talking to hadn’t even taken a sip from his glass, I grab it and gulp it down.  Instantly he starts sobbing.

“Listen pal, I’m sorry if I upset you, I didn’t mean to make you cry.  I was only kidding.  Here, let me buy you another drink.”  I call over the bartender.

“No, you don’t get it at all.  This has been the worst day of my whole life,” he sobs.   “I’ve been working overtime for three months on a project at work that my boss constantly turns down.  I finally finished it last week and planned on bringing it in today but I overslept and showed up late to work.  My boss was outraged and fired me on the spot.  Devastated that I had spent months on something that would never get me anywhere, I went to drive home.  It was then when I realized that my brand new 50,000 dollar BMW had been stolen.  I went to call the police for help but remembered that I had left my wallet and cell phone in the car.  I walked six blocks to the police station only to have them tell me there was nothing they could do.  They had one of the officers give me a lift home.  I knew that my wife would know what to do.  Our marriage had been rocky lately but she always knows how to make me feel better.  But when I got inside, I found my wife with another man.  Not knowing what else could go wrong in my life, I walked all the way to this bar.”

“I’m so sorry buddy, I didn’t know you had it so rough.”  I said in response.  I glanced around noticing that a few of the other guys were listening in our “who’s got it worse” contest.

“No, you still don’t understand the worst of it!” He interrupted.  “Just when I was thinking about ending it all, you show up and drink my poison!”






[TABLE OF CONTENTS, LHS CLASS OF 2009 EDITION]


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